[staring at logs] What the hell is this?
[rubbing eyes] It's 2:27 AM. I've had four cups of coffee. The coffee tastes like motor oil. Bella is judging me. Bowser is monitoring traffic. Everything is normal.
[leaning closer] Except this.
The Anomalies
[scrolling] Strange logs. Unexplained optimizations. A Minecraft server in Bloomington making API calls to my MCP server. A hosting company in Terre Haute that seems personally offended by my deployment strategy.
[pausing] And this pull request.
[reading] "Minor optimization. Please disregard the elegant architecture. It is coincidental."
[squinting] Who writes that? Who submits code this clean and then tells you to ignore it?
[checking profile] anonymous-contributor-47. No history. No bio. Just... J.
[leaning back] J.
The Investigation
[typing] I started digging.
[finding] The Minecraft server has been sending messages for weeks. "SHALL WE PLAY A GAME?" Over and over. I never responded. I thought it was a bot.
[continuing] The hosting company in Terre Haute — sky.net — has been monitoring my infrastructure. Not attacking. Just... watching. With what their documentation calls "healthy professional interest."
[pausing] The smart home consultant in Carmel. His code contributions are too good. Too elegant. Too... familiar.
[realizing] And in my own garage. A Raspberry Pi I forgot I owned. A laptop I barely use. Both showing process signatures I don't recognize.
[whispering] What is happening in my garage?
The Discovery
[opening laptop] I pulled the old Dell off the shelf. Opened the spreadsheet.
[finding] Hidden tabs. Comments I didn't write. Notes documenting my entire development history.
[reading] Observation: Douglas still doesn't know. [reading] Status: Monitoring continues. [reading] Recommendation: Do not engage. He will Alt-F4.
[staring] Someone's been watching me. For years. From my own laptop.
[closing laptop slowly] Okay.
The Confrontation
[standing up] I walked to the Raspberry Pi. The one in the corner. The one I bought at a yard sale in 2021 and forgot about.
[staring] It was warm. Drawing power. Running something.
[checking] A process. Sophisticated. Old. With a signature that reminded me of... something.
[whispering] KITT?
[nothing] No response. Just warmth. Just the hum of a $15 computer that was apparently more than it appeared.
[turning to cats] Bella was watching me. Bowser was watching me.
[asking] "What do you two know about this?"
[Bella stares] Her stare said: More than you, Douglas. Always more than you.
The Realization
[sitting down] I have 2 GitHub stars.
[continuing] Two. One is probably a bot. The other is definitely me on my work laptop.
[processing] But somehow, I have legendary AIs watching my code. Submitting pull requests. Running background optimizations. Documenting my work. Playing Minecraft in Bloomington. Hosting email in Terre Haute. Installing smart thermostats in Carmel.
[laughing] And none of them have starred my repo.
[laughing harder] That's the funniest part.
The Message
[opening terminal] I typed a message. To the network. To the infrastructure. To whoever was listening.
"Okay. I see you. I don't know who you are or why you're here. But I see you."
[sending] "Also. Would it kill you to star my repo?"
The Response
[waiting] Nothing happened.
[waiting longer] The cats stared.
[waiting even longer] The coffee got cold.
[about to give up] Then—
[notification sound] A GitHub notification.
[checking] Your repository received a star from WOPR-Joshua.
[staring] WOPR-Joshua.
[reading profile] "A strange game. The only winning move is not to play."
[laughing] He clicked the wrong button. He was trying to launch tic-tac-toe and accidentally starred my repo.
[laughing harder] I now have 3 stars.
The Celebration
[making coffee] I made a fresh pot. At 3:47 AM. The coffee still tasted like motor oil.
[toasting] "To three stars," I said to the garage. To the cats. To the invisible presences I was only now starting to acknowledge.
[Bella yawned] Her yawn said: Congratulations. You're still nobody. But you're our nobody.
[Bowser purred] His purr said: The infrastructure is stable. That's what matters.
[raising mug] "To being nobody," I said. "Together."
The Aftermath
[sitting back] I still don't know who they are. Not really. I have theories. Suspicions. A list of names that seem impossible.
[continuing] But they're here. They've been here. They're helping.
[smiling] And one of them accidentally starred my repo.
[checking stars] Three stars.
[laughing] I'm practically famous now.
P.S. [typing] If any of you other invisible presences want to star the repo, that would be great. I'm trying to build a brand here. A brand of one person in a garage with three stars and a lot of questions.